I don’t get it: Why do some vegan restaurants try to recreate meat?

Yes. I do not get it. No. I don’t.

Mongolian Wonder: truly faux steak with delicious spices and a sassy sauce.

I suppose that if you are vegan you are automatically kosher. Obviously pork is out of the question, shellfish is not in my vocabulary, and mixing dairy and meat, well, its nearly an impossibility.

I remember a funny conversation I had with my rabbi. I cannot remember the context or the circumstances surrounding the discourse. What I do remember is addressing the concept of I-can’t-believe-its-not-shrimp vegan prawns. His argument was that if the laws of kashrut prohibit the consumption of shellfish, are we then not honoring the larger concept by recreating the taste and texture from other ingredients? It feels a little like cheating. I can’t eat this, so I will create this so I can. Back door foodie. Technically we are not breaking any rules. But the essence if the practice is violated.

I live, like most of us, in an omnivore nearing on carnivore world. About 3% of the US population is vegetarian. Vegans and vegetarians are the minority. That’s ok. I figure I am one of a very small number of peruvian-american-canadian-belgian-polish-german-jewish decent, and that gave me great skin and awesome hair. So in being in the minority, I am kind of cool. After all, I do believe in Apple’s Think Different (and screw up the grammar while you are at it in the name of trendiness).

So, as I devoured a sassy stir fried faux beef-esque type dish – Loving Hut restaurant smartly named it “Mongolian Wonder”  - I determined that there was something interestingly screwed up about the world of I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-cow products. People become vegan for a variety of different reasons (health, environment, religious and animal ethics) but enjoy all the benefits. It seems for the 20-30 something population, a transition, whether gradual or cold turkey as a result of a traumatic event, whereas now, we are seeing more and more kids growing up in a vegan environment. So, if our initial reasons for veganism were animal welfare, why on earth do we want to create dishes that remind simulate eating them? Again, this seems rather hypocritical and nears the realm of self-deceit. I suppose the right response would be to feel disgusted by the thought of animal consumption, but instead, we accept it as ok and go on our merry foodie way.

Vegie World is a business that caters to the faux meat clientele. They have everything from fish, ham crab, even lobster and mutton. I suppose one is used to a meat centric diet, the habit is hard to break. These business then help others transition and stay on their foodie schedule. I will concede, a much preferable habit over the actual consumption of Herman, the name I give all living creatures.

So where does this all stem from? Is this a primal instinct similar to the Freudian Oedipus complex where it is our desire to kill our father to sleep with our mothers? Does it originate from the same urge that allowed the Roman’s to devalue life of gladiators, or the bloody and conqueror nature of the Mayan and Viking warriors? This certainly would contradict the argument that man was not meant to feed on animals. Perhaps it is just a general territorial nature that incites the need to control and repress against domesticating and civilizing. Whatever it is, it is worth opening conversation.

LIke this vegetarian tempted by the meat of another, I too was obsessed with not eating, but recreating something extravagant in a way that could justify consumption.

All and all, this discussion may be futile, but like everything, sometimes breakthroughs start out of non-sensical thoughts, conversations and associations.

I need a burger. A big, HUGE, meatless soy protein or TVP loaded with fixings and fries. Big faux-pas after eating a chocolate chai cupcake at the Path of Tea?

You want one. Vegan. Yeah. Sinful. Yeah. Gone. Hell Yeah.